Boundaries and the holidays. Does it make you cringe because you can feel the discomfort just THINKING about how your family and friends might react? Are you afraid of what they might think about you? I mean, it IS the time of year when we must be festive and merry…and overwhelmed…amiright? Parties, celebrations, and good will to all! Buck up. You can do it!
Just kidding.
There is no rule that requires you to say YES to every event, every drink, every piece of fruit cake, and every guilt-riddled invitation. What if you opted to be a rebel and retreated to your own cozy little holiday haven with your closest friends, family, and a serious dose of the Hallmark channel?
I can hear it now:
”But my colleagues will be so disappointed if I don’t go to our holiday party.”
”My friends will MAKE me go out no matter what I say.”
”My family will never forgive me if we skip Thanksgiving (or Christmas, or any shred of holiday celebration)!”
Thanks for those worries, because here is where I get to share my very first healthy boundary you will make with yourself:
You are not allowed to get your undies in a bunch because of what other people think.
Yes, people will have an opinion. That’s their choice and right as a human. Good news is, what they think, or what you believe they are thinking, is not on you. If you feel good about your decision because it brings you rest, peace, and pleasure to downgrade your overwhelm, that’s all that matters.
Now that we got that out of the way, the rest of these should be fairly simple.
Decide on the number of events you want to partake in and stick to it.
Get out your calendar and commit to the events you honestly believe you can handle without massive overwhelm hangovers. Hangovers can include food, drink, and emotions! (family….gotta love em?) I like to keep it to one event each week between Halloween and Christmas. Not only does it keep my choices selective, it also makes me a happier human. I use a whiteboard in our kitchen to keep track of the events, especially now that my teens have their own social life.
Be a rebel! rest more than you party.
Now, if you love a good party, you might not even be reading this except for the fact that you are tired of experiencing the post-holiday burnout from going full blast from Halloween to New Years Day. So I’m not saying don’t party, but I am saying, rest MORE than you party. Think about it, the parties and events are on top of the shopping, cooking, cleaning, decorating, wrapping, baking, driving around (to look at holiday lights), and traveling. Overwhelm overload! Rest is going to get the very, very short end of the mistletoe stick. What if you just dedicated the same hours of holiday event time to extra hours of sleep each night? Go to a party from 5 - 10pm? Sleep or rest (AKA watch Hallmark Channel Christmas movies) for another 5 hours? Sounds like a win-win to me.
Got kids? Skip the Guilt
Holiday traditions can be wonderfully nostalgic. It can also be extremely overwhelming to cram all those traditions in your schedule amongst the long list of holiday duties you already feel obligated to take on. I can’t be the only one that would overbook my calendar to see Christmas lights, visit all the holiday hot spots, and attend as many holiday shows, plays, or concerts to give my kids the full experience of a magical holiday! The truth is, kids don’t care as much as you do. So let go of the guilt, give them a short list of options, and let them choose. Keep it simple. Ask yourself, “How can this be easy?” Bonus points if you wait until after Christmas to visit the most popular events.
There you have it: Four ways to set healthy boundaries and ease the overwhelm of the holidays.
This holiday season is full of fun, magic, and overwhelm. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be so daunting and exhausting. By setting some healthy boundaries around your time and energy, everyone wins. The key to this goes back to the first boundary: Remind yourself that what other people think is not important. What IS important is your mental, emotional, and physical health. What if this holiday season could be the most relaxing one yet? Is there a greater gift for a hard-working woman like you? Cue up the Hallmark Channel and have a happy, overwhelm-free holiday.