Have you ever been able to keep yourself focused in the midst of the crazy?
How about just loud noises?
Or someone else talking?
Or the laundry staring you down?
Or that email you meant to write?
Or that list you need to make for the grocery store?
And, damn those kids need to eat AGAIN!!
Your brain feels like it’s bouncing from one thing to another like a ping pong ball trapped in a cube. For me, this can be a serious problem because of my ADHD. Not only does it make it hard for me to focus, but once I get distracted, EVERYTHING gets my attention. I completely lose my train of thought, my conversations are fragmented, and sometimes, I just give up.
Well, that was how I operated until I figured out how to help myself stay present.
My Top 3 Ways to Keep My Brain Focused
White Noise
Years ago, I realized that the WORST way for me to study was to listen to music. All my friends swore by it, but for me, it was impossible to read my notes while song lyrics were in my brain. However, silence was even worse. I would get distracted by my “squirrel” thoughts and also start inadvertently eavesdropping on ANY conversation that was in ear shot of me. It was infuriating!
What I found to help was studying in a coffee shop. A FULL coffee shop. The noise of the espresso machine, the low level chatter of all the people, and the reverberation of it all, provided a calming wave of focus for me. It was magic! On the same note, I have this same experience in bars. I’ve done my best writing in a bar with a tequila on the rocks.
At home, I’ve discovered that white noise from apps like Spotify can help me harness my brain efficiency.
Anchoring
I don’t remember where I learned this, but I’m REALLY glad I did. Maybe you’re like me and you find yourself having a conversation, only to go off on a tangent and realize you have no idea what you were talking about in the first place. It’s like my brain is walking through doors and leaving them all open behind me, so I have no idea how to get back to the door I came in. Ugh. Not only was this embarrassing, but it negatively affected my confidence to start conversations with new people.
On top of that, if I’m in a conversation and something else catches my attention, like another conversation I overheard, or something visually crosses my path, I stop listening to the person in front of me. Yeah, this is an even bigger struggle for me. I have NO idea how to respond to the person I was talking to because I wasn’t listening. *facepalm*
As a social person, I was constantly frustrated with my inability to stay present until I learned how to anchor myself. I’m sure there are many ways to do this, but here’s the two ways that work for me.
Going off on a tangent: If I start a story and find myself diverging, I either point a finger or press my thumb and pointer finger together to make a circle. This is my way of reminding myself where in the story I left off, so I know how to come back to it.
Staying present in a conversation: In conversations where I’m meeting new people, I usually have a drink or coffee in my hand. I make sure that I’m FEELING the cup. I’m creating a way to ground myself in the moment by noticing the sensation of holding the cup without breaking eye contact and conversation with whomever I’m speaking. This has been a GAME changer for me.
Planning
This is my number one coping mechanism for my wildly distracted brain. It started with lists. Lots of lists! I found that if it don’t write it down, it’s forgotten. Another fun fact, I write notes on the palm of my hand to keep me focused on the important things. The good news is, since I’ve been planning consistently, not only do I stay on task, I can actually complete a project!
Running a business and being a single mom has its own set of challenges. Without my planner, I would likely struggle and fall prey to overwhelm and confusion. Who knew a planner could help me be present, even in the busy moments of a work day. I created my planner to keep my goals consistent. Goals are tough to achieve if you are constantly angry at your own brain for “not doing it right.” That’s when I want to change my goals…and the “squirrel” cycle continues. The combination of organizing my brain and allowing space for flow, has created more calm than I’ve ever experienced.
Here’s how I organize my brain with planning:
Quarterly: Plan 90 days at a time: these are the big things. For business: Goals and program launches. For family: birthdays, travel, and school or sports events.
Monthly: Look at each month and write down the important things. Example: January business goal - outline course. January family plan - vacation and no-school dates.
Weekly: Break down that month goal (outline course) into weekly tasks. Fill my weekly calendar with a schedule that feels good. PSST: constrain! Overscheduling is a quick way to light an ADHD fire!
Daily: This is my favorite! The night before, I write down what is MOST important to complete the next day, along with my schedule. I’m telling you, this piece of paper is everything. It is my BOSS for the day.
Without a plan, I jump around from work, to dishes, to social media, to cleaning, to taking a trip to Marshalls. Or, I become overwhelmed and paralyzed. In short, I completed NOTHING and I feel terrible.
These tactics have allowed me to be successful and keep my little family moving forward. I’ve gone without these tools, and it’s not pretty. I hope these will be helpful to you and your ADHD brain. Even if you don’t have ADHD, but find yourself struggling to stay focused with the all the swirling thoughts in your head; white noise, anchoring, and planning might be your ticket to productivity and a sense of calm too.
If you want to try out the Daily Plan worksheet, you can grab that freebie here —-> Bonus Planning Tool
Curious about the 90 Day Success Planner? You can find the hard copy and digital version in our shop —-> 90 Day Success Planner
Much love,
